Wednesday, March 5, 2014

when your co-workers treat you like a ghost

I'm going over a spreadsheet with my boss one morning when a small group of co-worker ladies waltz in, all smiles and clutching steaming Starbucks cups. One girl is passing out a coffee order. Everyone gets one. Except me. No asked me. No one apologizes for not asking me.

I'm the new girl.

I smile and look around the room, stare at the floor. Everyone is chatting and laughing. I'm silent and smiling like a department store mannequin. It happens quite often, actually. From the first day, the level of warm feelings and welcoming has been resting squarely on empty. They bustle around, discuss their weekends and complain about the girl in operations who doesn't know what she's doing or about the manager who is so annoying. They snicker and whisper and look right through me in the halls. They go out to lunch together and return with whooping laughs and inside jokes.

In the beginning I would greet them and attempt to make a connection, find a common place for us to meet and build a relationship. I chatted lightly to begin conversations but was met with averted eyes and one-word responses. My hello's often unreciprocated, my spirit dwindled. It doesn't help when I do this.

I've become the ghost of the office. I joke with my husband that I shouldn't take grapes or hotdogs to work because if I choke and die in my office, no one would find me, for like months.

I'm not skilled at breaking through bonds, I don't force my way into circles. I float along silently, waiting for an invitation.

It doesn't bother me most days.


1 comment:

  1. Perhaps a tiny moment or two before work in the car of Laughter Yoga. Don't think I am weird, I have heard good things.

    Pam found your on the Art of Simple.


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